4.25-4.26

So, last night/this morning I had a whole smorgasbord of dreams. (I've had dreams every night, but I haven't really gotten into the habit of writing all of my dreams down yet, so here we are).

Strangely, and uncomfortably, nearly all of my dreams lately have focused on a 'soul mate' or 'true love' or something along those lines... which is all well and good, I really don't mind, but, you know? C'mon brain, I know you can do better than that. Not to mention, all these guys who are so in love with me/I'm so in love with in my dreams don't actually exist in real life. Which is a little bit frustrating. Actually, it's really frustrating, so I'd like these dreams to stop.

Besides, even if there was someone who was in love with me, I'm not sure that I'm particularly mature enough in that aspect of my life/brain to accept it. i get very anxious about things like that. Who loves who more? (whom??) I described it to anita as an indefinite integral (I don't know why. I guess because that's what I was working on at the time): It's infinity over infinity, and it appears to be that way initially, but upon closer examination, you find out that it's really 0/infinity, or infinity/0. Even though that's somewhat acceptable in calculus, it isn't acceptable in love. So, that's what really bothers me, I guess. What if someone's love is actually approaching zero, and not infinity? How do you know if it isn't you? What do you do if it isn't?? How do you get over it?

Anyway. I suppose stuff like this is really for Panoptes.

My dream:

I think that I dreamt that I was basically Harry Potter, but I was myself. So I was a female Harry Potter. I think. And I was sitting on the very very very top of this playground (which was verrrrrrry high up) in the center of a city area I think with the half-conceived notion of killing myself. Maybe not, but I remember being really upset and sad in my dream, and looking to get as far away from everyone and everything as possible. Also, I think I was being chased, so I was hiding. Unfortunately, in my quest to get away, I found myself on the top of this playground with the ability to see EVERYTHING that was going on. And from my perch, I saw a Draco Malfoy/Ron Weasly combination getting in trouble for something, and I used some spell to have him tell a joke or something... I don't know why. I think that at the time, I didn't realize that I was doing a spell, I thought that I was just hearing what they were saying, rather than telling them what to say. At any rate, Draco/Ron (of whom I was not particularly a fan) walked off and wandered around, finally coming up the playground and sitting in the tube that I was sitting on top of.
Anyway, I guess we talked a bit and became friends. That's really all I remember of that, except that at some later point, I'm being chased (by death eaters?) and I hide in a basement somewhere.

Then the dream changes.

There's a man inside the basement, along with a bunch of other people, but this man is the most interesting. He's a hatter, and he's making a hat. It's a really large green hat, that looks like it came out of dr. seuss. I really like it. He tells me that it's a magic hat, and 'would I like to see his house?' which sounds really creepy but I promise wasn't - the house he was talking about was a doll house he was also making, and the way that I would see it was some magic involving the hat. So I said ok, and he had me put on some other hat, and then I could see the house - I wasn't actually there, it was a tiny astral projection of myself or something (heh) and through whatever movements he was making (like, if he took a step then my astral projection could take a step) I got to see this house. Which was haunted. Hehe. But I think I decided that it wasn't really haunted - the man's daughter had invented the ghost, so I took a piece of paper (Don't know how I could touch it) and wrote a note. Then someone was knocking on the door of this doll house that I was exploring, and when I went to open it, I was in this house community and some other guy was there welcoming me to the neighborhood.
It was really strange.

I also dreamt that I turned on my iphone, and it worked, but I've been dreaming that for a few days.

Anyway, that's all for now. I don't know what exactly I dreamt about love, but I know that I dreamt about it. You know that warm fuzzy feeling you wake up with, that sort of melts and turns cold when you realize it was all a dream? Yeah.

No time like the present

I could, theoretically, dredge up every dream diary that I've ever had and type them up and put them here. Maybe one day, I will compile all of my dreams, just for my own amusement. In the meantime, I'd like to make a note of a few of the dreams I've had in the last couple of days, because there has been a definite theme of relationship-wanting.

First there was a soul-mate (one of those epic dreams; when I get back to school I suppose I could post it; I wrote it down on some scrap paper up there).
Then there was a fiance whose mother hated me (short, somewhat complex series of events).
Last night, I tangoed in the Sahara. This dream didn't have a focus on the guy though - in fact, I don't even think that I was particularly attached to him, but he was teaching me how to tango. Tangoing me, really... what I remember is this: I'm wearing a gorgeous red dress (obviously, I mean, come on! It's the TANGO) and he was twirling me - the best way I can think of to describe/explain this is like when you twirl a towel and then snap it at someone. I was the towel. But in a really good way! As odd as that sounds. Then there were those long dramatic steps (no roses, interestingly) and then he told me that it was my cue to say something (I can't remember what) and then he sort of spun me and I kind of flew, and then landed in the sand, which was incredibly soft. Kiiiiind of like my bed. Heh.

And then I woke up. The end.

"If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less, but to dream more - to dream all the time." -Proust

I dream almost every night.
Sometimes my dreams are realistic, sometimes they are not.
Sometimes I dream epic quests, sometimes I dream fragments, sometimes I dream moments.
Sometimes I have nightmares.
This is a place where I hope to record my dreams, in all their often incredibly bizarre glory.