Seriously. Every once in a while I'll beg my subconscious for a dream about a particular subject, because usually what I dream clues me in to how I really feel about things. Last night my quest for sleep was thwarted by incessant thoughts of a particular person whom we shall call 'Bob', because I don't feel like embarrassing myself (or him). Not that he reads this, but, well, you never know.
Anyway, I decided then that perhaps the solution was to think specific thoughts about Bob, and hope that I would drift slowly off to sleep and also dream about him, which would possibly be fun, unless in my subconscious I actually don't like him at all. Then it would probably be kind of miserable.
For example: once, I dreamt that I got married to my (now ex) boyfriend, and I cried the entire dream because I did NOT want it to happen - and when I woke up, it took me a few minutes to realize it had just been a dream. (I'm recounting this here because I don't believe I recorded it - it was before the start of this bog.) Anyway, the point is that the dream forced me to start thinking about why I was so absolutely averse to marrying the fellow - and well, it turned out that when I thought about it, I realized that I wasn't really in love with him.
So... while asking my subconscious for dreams CAN be fun, it can also lead to unpleasant truths.
Get on with the dream! Ok. There isn't much to this dream - it was very rich, but in detail, not in plot. I was sleeping in the Captain's room (guest room with a name) with Luna (my dog) - in both reality and the dream - and I was woken up by Bob, who I had invited to visit but hadn't expected him to come quite so early. Nevertheless, I was really happy about the visit so I leapt out of bed and ran to my room (which is a disaster as I pack for school, hence the sleeping in the captain's room) to find some clothes. My mom was in there for some reason, laughing at me. I guess because I was so happy, but had somehow managed to let him get here while I was still in my PJs (interesting point: I was wearing my kokopelli PJs, which I was not wearing in real life). So I grab some things and realize that I've forgotten my glasses in the captain's room, so I go to run back to get them, and for whatever reason, Mick arrives and starts talking to me, but I'm not really paying attention because Bob's in the other room, and I'd like to get back to him.
Then, suddenly, I wake up again. And I sigh, because the Bob visit was apparently all a dream. But! amazingly, his voice comes from behind me and says something along the lines of 'Hooray! You're awake again!' and I leap out of bed to see that he's sitting on the far edge of the bed with Luna, and I'm so confused because I could have sworn it was all a dream - but he says that he came in to say hello the first time, and I fell back asleep. So THIS time, I try to force myself to check and make sure that I'm really awake - but what it really does is make me actually wake up.
So, I wake up for a third time (or really, the first time), to a house empty except for mah animals. Fail.
Sigh.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
I've been remiss!
I have - surprise, surprise! - still been dreaming, whilst not writing in this blog, and unfortunately for all of you (but also myself) I can't remember all of the dreams that I've had. I do have a few fragments that I'd like to record though, and I'll do what I can to keep it in order.
Some time ago, I dreamt that I got to go see the gymnastics part of the olympics! But it was being held in a theater, oddly enough. I don't remember the finer details, but what I do remember is that my family had these excellent seats in a balcony, and somehow we got separated. I was trying to find the correct balcony, but I kept taking the wrong staircase - at one point coming out at the very top of the theater, where I saw the guy I'd met at the prow of the cruise ship I went on with my girl scout troop (long story short, I was wandering around the boat at night alone, and chatted with some nice guy at the very top, very front of the boat - where you could lean into the wind and not fall over!), but I didn't talk to him in my dream; I turned around and went down to try another staircase.
Somewhere along the way, this very fancily dressed gentleman (who I knew in my dream, but I have no idea who he is/if he's anyone in real life) saw me and said that he had really great seats - would I do him the honor of joining him? How could I refuse? I really wanted to find my family, but I couldn't say no to this guy (because of his stature). I'm pretty sure he was wearing a top hat and tails. He led me to this row of about 5 seats on the first floor of the theater - the expensive seats, for sure, but we were just under the lip of a balcony, so we couldn't see any of the elements the gymnasts did on the high bar that went above the bar. Anyway, as I said, there were 5 seats - he took the second seat from the end to the left, and there were two women next to him (I think they were 'with' him, but not WITH him, if that makes sense), and the last seat on the right was empty. I really wanted to see what was going on up on stage, so I went around to take that seat, but there was a little girl sitting there, which was annoying because she was too young to appreciate what was going on, but I couldn't kick her out of the seat. So, I went back and sat next to the man, even though I didn't really want to. There was a woman's jacket folded on the back of the chair, and I was really nervous because in normal life, that means the chair is taken - but he was convinced the jacket came with the chair (I really have no idea which was correct).
At any rate, Brendan suddenly appeared, and said he could take me to our seats, so I jumped up, told the man I'd divide my time, and bolted. He ran much faster than me though, and when we got the the key staircase, I didn't know where to go! Ugh! I ran past some security guards and hoped really hard that they wouldn't stop me (the competition was about to start!) but they just watched, bemused. Finally, I ran up this tiny spiral staircase that I had taken out of the which-staircase-should-I-run-up? competition because it was so small. Amazingly enough, at the top of it, there was a glass atrium sort of thing where all the widows were playing poker! (I don't know why.) Just outside of that was the balcony, and, hooray! My family! So, win.
Sometime after this dream, whether it was days or minutes or hours or seconds, I don't know, but I dreamt that I was once again with the Widows, and we were heading back through the wilderness to Wellesley. Through an obstacle course. I know where this dream came from: my difficulties with the wellesley financial aid services! No mystery there.
Lastly, that I can recall, the other night I dreamt that I had one of my friends over (this dream took place at my old house; I moved a few years ago), and for whatever reason, I blurted out that I loved him - then I turned tail and ran. He followed me out onto the porch, but by the time he got there, I was already at the driveway (porch had a staircase to the driveway) and luckily for me, another friend was sitting there, waiting to kidnap me. Not kidnap as in 'rawr! pay the ransom or else!', just kidnap in the way that friends do. It was very well timed, and she drove me away before he could catch up. This one I know all about too - I do like this guy, a lot, but it really isn't the best time for me to go blurting out anything about love.
Thanks, subconscious. (heavy sarcasm)
Well, that's all I can recall at the moment! Perhaps tonight I shall dream - and if that is the case, I will most certainly endeavor to record said dream in a timely fashion!
Some time ago, I dreamt that I got to go see the gymnastics part of the olympics! But it was being held in a theater, oddly enough. I don't remember the finer details, but what I do remember is that my family had these excellent seats in a balcony, and somehow we got separated. I was trying to find the correct balcony, but I kept taking the wrong staircase - at one point coming out at the very top of the theater, where I saw the guy I'd met at the prow of the cruise ship I went on with my girl scout troop (long story short, I was wandering around the boat at night alone, and chatted with some nice guy at the very top, very front of the boat - where you could lean into the wind and not fall over!), but I didn't talk to him in my dream; I turned around and went down to try another staircase.
Somewhere along the way, this very fancily dressed gentleman (who I knew in my dream, but I have no idea who he is/if he's anyone in real life) saw me and said that he had really great seats - would I do him the honor of joining him? How could I refuse? I really wanted to find my family, but I couldn't say no to this guy (because of his stature). I'm pretty sure he was wearing a top hat and tails. He led me to this row of about 5 seats on the first floor of the theater - the expensive seats, for sure, but we were just under the lip of a balcony, so we couldn't see any of the elements the gymnasts did on the high bar that went above the bar. Anyway, as I said, there were 5 seats - he took the second seat from the end to the left, and there were two women next to him (I think they were 'with' him, but not WITH him, if that makes sense), and the last seat on the right was empty. I really wanted to see what was going on up on stage, so I went around to take that seat, but there was a little girl sitting there, which was annoying because she was too young to appreciate what was going on, but I couldn't kick her out of the seat. So, I went back and sat next to the man, even though I didn't really want to. There was a woman's jacket folded on the back of the chair, and I was really nervous because in normal life, that means the chair is taken - but he was convinced the jacket came with the chair (I really have no idea which was correct).
At any rate, Brendan suddenly appeared, and said he could take me to our seats, so I jumped up, told the man I'd divide my time, and bolted. He ran much faster than me though, and when we got the the key staircase, I didn't know where to go! Ugh! I ran past some security guards and hoped really hard that they wouldn't stop me (the competition was about to start!) but they just watched, bemused. Finally, I ran up this tiny spiral staircase that I had taken out of the which-staircase-should-I-run-up? competition because it was so small. Amazingly enough, at the top of it, there was a glass atrium sort of thing where all the widows were playing poker! (I don't know why.) Just outside of that was the balcony, and, hooray! My family! So, win.
Sometime after this dream, whether it was days or minutes or hours or seconds, I don't know, but I dreamt that I was once again with the Widows, and we were heading back through the wilderness to Wellesley. Through an obstacle course. I know where this dream came from: my difficulties with the wellesley financial aid services! No mystery there.
Lastly, that I can recall, the other night I dreamt that I had one of my friends over (this dream took place at my old house; I moved a few years ago), and for whatever reason, I blurted out that I loved him - then I turned tail and ran. He followed me out onto the porch, but by the time he got there, I was already at the driveway (porch had a staircase to the driveway) and luckily for me, another friend was sitting there, waiting to kidnap me. Not kidnap as in 'rawr! pay the ransom or else!', just kidnap in the way that friends do. It was very well timed, and she drove me away before he could catch up. This one I know all about too - I do like this guy, a lot, but it really isn't the best time for me to go blurting out anything about love.
Thanks, subconscious. (heavy sarcasm)
Well, that's all I can recall at the moment! Perhaps tonight I shall dream - and if that is the case, I will most certainly endeavor to record said dream in a timely fashion!
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