Thursday, August 28, 2008

The most unfair series of dreams

Seriously. Every once in a while I'll beg my subconscious for a dream about a particular subject, because usually what I dream clues me in to how I really feel about things. Last night my quest for sleep was thwarted by incessant thoughts of a particular person whom we shall call 'Bob', because I don't feel like embarrassing myself (or him). Not that he reads this, but, well, you never know.
Anyway, I decided then that perhaps the solution was to think specific thoughts about Bob, and hope that I would drift slowly off to sleep and also dream about him, which would possibly be fun, unless in my subconscious I actually don't like him at all. Then it would probably be kind of miserable.
For example: once, I dreamt that I got married to my (now ex) boyfriend, and I cried the entire dream because I did NOT want it to happen - and when I woke up, it took me a few minutes to realize it had just been a dream. (I'm recounting this here because I don't believe I recorded it - it was before the start of this bog.) Anyway, the point is that the dream forced me to start thinking about why I was so absolutely averse to marrying the fellow - and well, it turned out that when I thought about it, I realized that I wasn't really in love with him.
So... while asking my subconscious for dreams CAN be fun, it can also lead to unpleasant truths.
Get on with the dream! Ok. There isn't much to this dream - it was very rich, but in detail, not in plot. I was sleeping in the Captain's room (guest room with a name) with Luna (my dog) - in both reality and the dream - and I was woken up by Bob, who I had invited to visit but hadn't expected him to come quite so early. Nevertheless, I was really happy about the visit so I leapt out of bed and ran to my room (which is a disaster as I pack for school, hence the sleeping in the captain's room) to find some clothes. My mom was in there for some reason, laughing at me. I guess because I was so happy, but had somehow managed to let him get here while I was still in my PJs (interesting point: I was wearing my kokopelli PJs, which I was not wearing in real life). So I grab some things and realize that I've forgotten my glasses in the captain's room, so I go to run back to get them, and for whatever reason, Mick arrives and starts talking to me, but I'm not really paying attention because Bob's in the other room, and I'd like to get back to him.
Then, suddenly, I wake up again. And I sigh, because the Bob visit was apparently all a dream. But! amazingly, his voice comes from behind me and says something along the lines of 'Hooray! You're awake again!' and I leap out of bed to see that he's sitting on the far edge of the bed with Luna, and I'm so confused because I could have sworn it was all a dream - but he says that he came in to say hello the first time, and I fell back asleep. So THIS time, I try to force myself to check and make sure that I'm really awake - but what it really does is make me actually wake up.
So, I wake up for a third time (or really, the first time), to a house empty except for mah animals. Fail.

Sigh.

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